12 whole weeks without you 💔

12…

It’s been 12 whole weeks today since we lost you baby girl.

How is this even possible? We should be counting how old you are, not how long we’ve been living without you. It’s just not fair. We tried harder than anyone I know to get our precious baby girl..and you were taken from us at the very end. We had so much love to give to you..a lifetime full of love and memories to make. And in a matter of minutes, your little life slipped right through our fingers. I can’t even believe that this is our life. Sometimes it doesn’t even seem real..and other days its entirely too real. It may appear that it gets a little easier on the outside, but on the inside I’m dying. On the inside, I am completely lost and exhausted. My mind is being tortured with all of the things that we’ll never get to expierence with her. I constantly think of what she would be doing right now and wonder what type of personality she would be showing right now. I am constantly reminded that we’ll never see her celebrate birthdays or holidays. We’ll never see her achieve the different milestones in life. We’ll never see her go off to her first day of kindergarten or graduate with her high school class. My husband will never get to walk her down to hand her to her future husband to start a new life with. There’s so many things that us as parents of angels will miss out on and it’s not fair. Not many people ask how we’re doing anymore. Not many people talk about Mia anymore. I get it..life continues to move forward for those that this tragedy has not directly affected I guess. But it hurts. It kills still. It’s like no pain I’ve ever felt and it doesn’t go away. If anything, its brought to light every where I go. A lot of songs remind me of her or what we’re missing out on. TV shows and movies..its just everywhere. I wish I could go back and change things. I would give anything to have her here with us. My heart…there’s such a huge part of my heart missing. As I look back at all the struggles we faced trying to get pregnant through IVF..and then all the struggles that I myself went through during pregnancy. And now all the struggles my family and I have to face every day for the rest of our lives..the world is so cruel. I had to try to find a way to at times channel my feelings of anger, pain, suffering, betrayal, confusion…into something positive for Mia. That’s why I created Mia’s Mission. That’s why I’m bringing light to pregnancy and infant loss. Our stories, although are not over, deserve to be told. Our babies deserve to be shared and talked about. Speak your babies names every day. Live for them every day. I have a goal to not only raise awareness, but to donate a CuddleCot in Mia’s name to a hospital that does not have one. As most know, this machine is something that is very near and dear to my heart as it is the only thing that allowed us to keep our precious angel with us for the two days we had with her. Although that is not how anyone had seen things happening, I am very thankful for those two days. Those two days I got to hold her and love on her. I got to kiss her and talk to her. I got to see her with her daddy and our family. I got to witness the tremendous amount of love that everyone had for this sweet little girl of ours. And the thought of some families not having that opportunity to spend those last few days, that quite literally feel like just seconds when you look back on it..it absolutely breaks my heart. So, I’m hoping to get enough support through my store and through donations to be able to donate one of these by Mia’s first heavenly birthday next year. And if I reach that goal, I’ll set another one with the same goal.

Please, if you want to help a beautiful cause, checkout my shop. If you don’t wish to purchase anything but would like to donate, that is also an option on my website.

Any little bit helps. And as always, if you cannot do either of those, simply sharing miasmission.net will help raise awareness and keep Mia’s memory alive.

I miss you more than I ever thought I could miss someone. Please watch over all of us as we learn to live our lives every day without your physical presence.

We love you.

And one more thing..thank you to all of those that have not left our sides. Thank you to those that have supported us and Mias Mission in one way or another. We truly appreciate you all.