As I lay here in bed listening to music with John, I can’t stop my mind from wondering. How can life just continue to move on without my sweet girl? How can days continue to come and go, yet time seemingly stands still for me? I lay here and cry because I wonder what it would be like if Mia was here right now. How everyone would have adjusted to having a little one. I wonder how Ali would be—would be be her protector or just want to play with her. I wish I could see John be a daddy as he would instantly become wrapped around her tiny finger. I wish I could watch her with her sisters—they would have grown close to her quickly. If only I could watch Aaden with her. He was in such awe of her and still talks about her to me often. He misses her so much. He truly would have been the best big brother because of his heart of gold. I wish I could see her with her nana, papa, grandpa, and grandma as they’d give her all their love. I wish there was a way to have Mia back and have her spend time to her aunties and uncles—I know they would give her all the snuggles in the world.
But I can’t. I can’t witness any of those things. My baby’s life was taken entirely too soon and all the plans we had..all the hopes and dreams..all the memories we were going to make..they’re all shattered. They’re gone and I’ll never know who she would have become.
I hate it. I just can’t get my mind and heart to understand it. We didn’t deserve this to happen to us. We did everything right. We went through our trials. We dealt with the struggles with IVF. We already had proven ourselves. It pisses me off that it wasn’t good enough. I will never understand, but I promise that our daughter will not be forgotten. I will forever talk about her and I’ll make sure her passing serves some sort of purpose—that it helps others going through this or possibly help someone before it gets to this point. If I can help one person out of our tragedy and heartbreak, it will make my heart feel slightly at peace.
My sweet Mia-Always remembered🤍forever love.
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